Excerpt from a journal entry of 30 May, 2010 that I happened upon today and wanted to share:
I feel a sort of melancholy today. A yearning for some sort of connection with my own work and that familiar feeling of separation from myself after so much traveling. I'm happy to be here on my own in the studio. This peaceful place - a refuge from clutter of mind, of spirit. A sacred space.
I just simply want to be able to replenish and receive today. To both empty and fill the well. To listen and then act. Lots of information comes in and as I sit quietly here it has a place to settle as well as dissipate.
I realize that so much of what I worry about - what is said, done, happens or doesn't - is all completely inconsequential in the long run. Worrying does not create. Worry dampens the spirits.
I've been taking an abstract painting class at the Glasgow School of Art for the past month. Although I've played around with paint here and there over the years, paint is not my medium.
It's exhilarating learning something new, as well as humbling -- experiencing the awkwardness of not knowing what I'm doing and the frustrations this brings up that I must lean into in order to see something interesting emerge. Lots of bad art is being produced. Fantastic.
I love the sense of immediacy of working with paint. You just have to commit and dive in. Don't think too much and don't make it too precious. What is wanting to express itself has waited around long enough and is desperate to get to the surface.
Just get out of its way and let it get on with it.
stands for all things,
even for those things that don't flower,
for everything flowers, from within, of self-blessing;
though sometimes it is necessary
to reteach a thing its loveliness,
to put a hand on its brow
of the flower
and retell it in words and in touch
it is lovely
until it flowers again from within, of self-blessing;