Befriending the Enemy
My husband and I just returned from a week in Italy, where we, along with my brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew, helped my parents celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. It was a special week. I was able to spend time with my husband and my family in a beautiful setting in the Tuscan hillside outside of Florence where we ate amazing food, drank lovely wines, and enjoyed sultry warm weather which we were able to indulge in poolside.
I'm now having a bit of trouble 're-entering the atmosphere' of creative life. Yesterday was spent in the studio trying to get started again, without much luck, I must confess. Today a slight, yet persistent feeling of doubt is lingering in the air. I'm always a bit fearful when I'm in this state --fearful it will last forever and my life will be lived in the smallness of my own mind, where it is dark and really unpleasant.
I find that there is a fine balance of moving forward - experimenting with little bits of cloth, etc. and just being in the studio. Sitting. Observing. Relaxing. Being with the doubt and the fear and finding a way to simply befriend it and let it naturally move away.
No tug of war, no cursing at the dark. Just a gentle conversation with the Muse and then the patience and the courage to continue in the face of what sometimes feels like walking through fire.